Clothes That Attract Women Pt 1


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Intro Music: Glassic

one of the most common questions that I get is related to one of the most common search queries when it comes to stuff related to men's style and that is Tanner why don't you talk more about dressing in ways that are attractive to women those of you guys who have been following me for a long time will know that that is a very glaring omission on my part and the reality is it's on purpose the short answer is because I think that it's an irrelevant question and the long answer well let's dive into the long answer this started out as one video and as I filmed this it very quickly became something that needed to be a series and so today is part one in helping you understand why I don't talk about attracting women through clothing there's a lot to unpack here and so we're going to take our time with this I'm going to do my best to explain a lot of these concepts and as I do I know that some of you guys are already going to be at the point where you're going to be frustrated because I'm painting in such broad strokes or because what I'm talking about isn't going to line up with the politically correct world that we live in so consider this your trigger warning all right under this is peer-reviewed and if that's the kind of stuff that you need in order to gain value for what I'm talking about you probably don't belong on this channel anyway so all those disclaimers aside let's start talking about what actually makes men attractive to women and how clothing comes into that equation there in order to do that the first thing that we need to do is we need to be able to understand that when it comes to the relationship between men and women there are two different primary things that we are trying to signal to each other the first one is attractiveness the second is comfort now let's break those down and I'll give you some characteristics of both of those being is to constitute attractiveness at least in regards to men attracting women are things like charisma physical attractiveness dominance power and most of all data now when it comes to building comfort the majority of things that are needed to build comfort actually work across both sexes but the things that are necessary for men to build comfort with women are things like kindness generosity provision nurturance and loyalty now if you think about it in order to have a successful relationship with somebody you have to have both attraction and comfort we see plenty of examples where it's only one-sided take for example what happens when all you have is attraction these are the type of men who typically they're only looking out for number one they're usually surrounded by a harem of attractive women but they usually cycle through those women very very quickly there's no such thing as stability there's no long-term aspect of it there's a lot of drama there's a lot of tension there's a lot of contention in relationships where the only thing that the man brings to the table is attraction now pair that against the other side where if the only thing a man brings to the table is comfort and he's a loser nice guy where he ends up being a doormat not being walked all over just by women but by other men as well he's the one who's in the perpetual friendzone he's always the best friend but never actually makes anything happen with his own dating he's the guy who is so sexually frustrated he doesn't understand why being nice doesn't get him the girl you know both of these are extremes and not all of us fall to either all attraction or all comfort we have balances of both but in order to truly have a successful relationship with a woman you need to be able to have as much of both as you can possibly get healthy long-term relationships that last a long time and even get better with time have the right balance of both attraction and comfort all attraction with no comfort that's great for heated and it's great for guys who all they're looking for is one-night stands because they're not pursuing anything more so all the liabilities that come without offering any comfort they're not liabilities they're assets it's a way to pump and dump and move on and all comfort with no attraction well the best-case scenario that you can get with that is that you do find somebody to be in a relationship with but that relationship ends up being more that you're like roommates then that you're actually in a committed loving attraction building sex build great relationship with the person he's never nude is that exactly what sounds like wine sorry I need to be completely undressed I am completely undressed okay so once we understand that there's a distinction there that you need to be able to focus on both we can zero in a little bit more on attraction what's required to build attraction and the reality with that is that the most attractive thing that a man can have is not as looks it's not as money it's not anything except his status yeah looks money power all of this that is very much a component of status but status is the main overarching attractor that drives the most benefit for the most men just to give a little bit of context well the biggest thing that makes men attractive its status the biggest thing that makes women attractive is beauty and remember that because we're going to tune in on that as we dive a little bit deeper into this whole concept not only is status something that is the biggest deal but it's also something that is both relative and objective relative in the sense that it depends on yes your tribe and where you fall within it as far as your vertical status within the hierarchy whether that's soft or hard but then also relative in regards to where your statuses in relationships the woman that you're dating or you're interested in you're married to women are attracted to men who are higher status than they are period the way it works if you want to attract a woman who is attractive you have to be higher status than she is if you don't have high enough status then you need to either settle for somebody who's not as attractive as you think that you deserve or you need to raise your relative status – what hers is in order to become attractive to her because the only way to have a happy long-lasting relationship is if you're attracted to her and she's attracted to you but again status is tricky because it can be something objective or at least objective when it comes to culture or humankind in general but then it's also something that can be very relative and it can be multiplied or diminish depending on the culture or the subculture that we belong to and we're part of in fact the more isolated a particular subculture is then the more its own relative status matters compared to overall general status think about Comic Con conventions and video game stuff think about chess clubs there are attractive women who are attracted to men within those subcultures and the reason that those men are attractive is because those cultures are so insulated that the status within those subcultures of those men who are high up in the hierarchy overrides the relative low status compared to the world in general you know obviously one of the things that we want to do in order to attract people not only attract potential maids but in order to feel good about ourselves in order to make sure that we're good within our position with them within the hierarchy one because men compete with other men in the tribe and two because we want to know and signal that we are fit to be members within the tribe is we signal our status and anybody who tells you that they don't signal status or that they don't care about it it's actually just using their ambivalence toward status as a status signal the problem with signalling status when it's not there when you're going above and beyond what you actually have to offer is it's a lie and eventually you get found out that's the problem with most of the pickup artists industry that's the problem with most of the guys who teach game and other things like that is all they're really doing is getting guys to be better at signaling non-existent status now again if all you're after is one-night stands and quick lace and that's an effective tool because by the time you've left her then she doesn't know any better and she thinks that she's been with some alpha top dog guy when really it's just some guy who's really good at pretending but if you want more than that if you want more than that not just within relationships with women but with relationships with the world in general then over signaling your status or making your clothing your presence tell a lie about where you actually fit is a huge liability and it ends up costing you more than if you just accurately signaled where you actually fall within the hierarchies of your different tribes and that's why when you get to any culture or any subculture or any point in history there are always some minimal standards of status or attractiveness for men just like there always are for women in fact meeting those minimum standards is I mean their minimum for a reason in order to really be able to succeed within a group you have to meet its minimum standards think about a football team in order to actually stay then the football team you have to meet the minimum standards to make the cut and if you don't make the cut you're off the team the same goes for society in general when it comes to things like beauty or power or dominance or status or kindness or nurturing or anything else you have to meet minimum standards otherwise society rejects you we may do that softly by just not wanting to engage with you or we may do that in a very hard and outline way like throwing you into prison or having you execute it if you don't meet the minimum standards of a general society then you're expelled from that society which is obviously about as low status as it gets and leading these minimum standards is why the happiest couples are usually those that are paired fairly closely where yes your status as a man is a little bit higher than the status of the woman that you're with but not exceedingly so the relationships that don't work or often because the man is lower status than the woman think of like really really clean relationships guys who never get over a girlfriend they're super jealous they know that they've dated out of their league that's not attractive for women at all they don't want anything to do with that or because the man is so much higher in status that it creates dissonance it creates fear and dread in her where she can't actually be herself she can't support him she can't be comfortable and content in the relationship and he is always feeling like he could have done better and he should have done better yes all of that can be bounced out and mitigated one by how many of those comfort building traits you have in to buy moral and societal codes that's why marriage exists so that people don't just bounce back and forth where men don't leave women the mothers of their children for more attractive women as their relative status Rises or is their wife's relative Beauty decreases nor is it that women leave their husbands because their status doesn't rise or it isn't what it used to be marriage in social contracts like that existed to protect us from our own kind of animalistic natural tendencies to always seek beauty or status and just drive for those things alright so we're going to end part 1 there I know that there's a lot to handle in part 2 we're going to talk about how this actually ties into your style and also where status comes from who it comes from and why trying to attain status through attracting women is missing the mark a little bit so don't wait hear what you guys have to say about this I can't wait to share with you guys part 2 which is coming up on the next video I'll talk to you guys then

49 thoughts on “Clothes That Attract Women Pt 1”

  1. You're channel has fast become my favorite menswear channel. I like that you are not just giving us templates to copy..instead you inject a healthy dose of understanding about style (and any subject matter you talk about). And that understanding challenges us (at least me) to be real/realistic about ourselves. Like you said…"not being ruled by tactics".

    Thanks man!

  2. I have one beef with this video. I feel like that it is simply sending the message to men that if they want to get the girl of their dreams, then all they have to do is increase their "status" whatever that may be. I watched a video by a dating coach named Liam McRae from the Natural Lifestyles where he debunked 5 myths about dating. One of the myths talked about how some men believe that having high status, like high social status, will automatically bring lots of women into their life. However, Liam spoke about how he and his fellow dating coaches have had clients who were in high positions in their companies, or they were wealthy, some were even famous musicians, but they were still terrible with women and weren't getting women into their life.

    He said the most important skill to have when it comes to getting women is GAME, or interpersonal skills and social skills. If you have terrible social skills and do not have the social confidence and courage to approach women and talk to them, flirt with them, and build attraction with them, then no amount of status, no amount of money, no amount of good looks, and no amount of worldly accomplishment can make up for it. Nothing can make up for having bad game. Yeah, women are attracted to status, but they are not just going to fall into your lap just because you are a "high status" man.

  3. As always, your content is on point. Although, my wife's physique changed significantly after the birth of my son. She became significantly more attractive to me, as mother of my children.

  4. Wimen like stuff in men that set us apart from animals.
    – talks
    – brain
    – hands
    – skills
    – upraisen stand

    Thats why we turned out the way we did. Think about those male ducks in the park with green heads. Femele ducks like green heads, I bet you.

  5. If it is other men who are the purveyors of social status, then hankering after that can only run one into the insecurities that the pride of life has to offer.

  6. Basic Evolutionary Psychology–it is a real shame that you even need to explain these things to men. Fifty plus years of Marxist/Feminist blather in the pop culture and government schools in concert with fatherlessness (one's OWN father, steps and mom's bfs do not count) has made these demonstrable facts unPC and left most guys clueless as to how human sexual attraction really works.

  7. This was a fantastic video and I will have to think about these concepts some more. I have to ask, what about those of us that are outsiders or don't really fit in a tribe? I'm looking forward to part two. Great work as always.

  8. That is a Machiavellian, non-sentimental way of explaining the erotic relationships. And a more clear definition of everyone's saying that women seek rich men, men seek beautiful women. In relation to clothing, what you are saying is that you can not, or you should not dress better than your status. So,the "if you can not beat them in anything else, at least dress better" is a bs? Thank you for sharing a very good critical thinking!

  9. I agree with you 100%, I would add that one can have more "Status" that someone with more money as status is about the social rank one has in ones sphere of influence, as access to powerful people is power too.

  10. You raised a crucial point on the relative status front. Problem today for a lot of guys is that women are passing them on the education and economic success front. My recent divorce the judge, her lawyer, my lawyer were all women and my ex was a Ph.D and full professor. That is game changing status for a lot of men. . I speculate the rise of the MGTOW movement is a flipside of the PUA community. Guys are genuinely intimidated by women. I am glad I am too old for all this. Good video content today. Thumbs up. PS current youtube style wisdom advises that a sharp looking watches for only $150 remedies most of the above.

  11. I always stress to my clients that communicating their authentic self is the best way to lasting results. Signaling anythings that you aren't is stressful because you're ultimately waiting to be "found out". Like wearing a fake Rolex or stuffing your briefs rather it's better to be the authentic best verison of your true self.

  12. Wow. Definitely a lot of hard truths being told here as a lot of guys here have probably watched men's fashion channels saying that clothing will get you the girl you want. There is so much more to that though and some of it as you said is very hard to control. If I've learned anything from your fashion channel is that fashion isn't everything and that it is actually very little. Thank you for your amazing content!

  13. But not every guy has status, that's why most guys who are aware of the fact turn to style to attract women. I think it just boils down to confidence. The more confident guys are the ones who get the girls and gets laid more than the rest of the pack. I noticed that guys who have impeccable style seem to be the most confident among men in social settings.

  14. Quite interesting. Of course, not everyone can be #1 in their field and get status in that way. The easiest way to obtain status would probably be to move to a poorer country or to be a medium sized fish in a tiny pond, rather than a medium sized fish in a huge pond.

  15. I love that jacket – I assume it's from B&R? A fascinating video as always. You are the lone man on the mountain talking about this psychology of this sort of thing in menswear.

  16. Well, to be fair… your clothes can certainly flunk you with women… but they don't really make you "attractive" with women in the same way that clothes make women "Attractive" to men. All clothes signal to women are the elements that let her decide whether or not she'll try to dismiss you out of hand or talk to you. Attraction is what you build mostly after you're talking to her, not before.
    Clothes and grooming don't really "make" the man, but if not done properly, they can break" you depending on where you want to try to meet women.

  17. So much to soak in here. As usual, you took me down the intellectual rabbit hole. I know that when I emerge from it i'll be much the better for it. This video incorporates many elements from an episode of your podcast. I think it was called "stop dressing for women". I still have that episode on my phone! I have a request. Do you think you could touch on race and how clothing? I've always wondered why when a black young man in particular dons a suit he's considered a "sellout" or to be "dressing white" by his peers.

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